Revisiting My Role As Mom And Teacher


This is Addie again. I haven’t been writing much recently, but I have a good reason. Wesley Robert joined our family at the end of January! Isn’t he cute? I think he is, but then I am biased!

My girls and I have been adjusting to daily life again now that there is a baby around. As such, my view of homeschooling has changed a little bit. I am thankful for this change because I can see how my previous view wasn’t what it should have been. I was recently convicted that I am not really loving my children well. Sure I love them because they are mine, but I was having a very hard time finding joy in where God had placed me as their mommy. Mostly this was because they were disobeying and my husband and I weren’t doing a good job of disciplining them. Toward the end of last year I felt a huge burden as their mommy. I was just so exhausted. Sure I was 30 weeks pregnant, but even a non-pregnant mommy would be exhausted. This caused me to be very short with them and very angry. Not. a. good. time. Thankfully, God is sovereign and through this difficult time showed me my areas of sin and selfishness, and where I needed to help the girls so they could learn to obey mommy and daddy and love Jesus. It really challenged my view of being a mother, especially a homeschooling mother.

I asked myself these questions, and discussed them with my husband:

1. Why did God give us these children?

2. What do we want for our children?

3. What is our role as their parent?

4. What is our role as their teacher, and what do we want them to learn?

The answers, for me, to these questions were:

1. to sanctify me and glorify Him

2. to love Jesus

3. to direct them to Jesus

4. to direct them to Jesus and love Him

I had to face that my role as their mom, even if we do not choose to homeschool, is to direct them to Jesus. It seems simple, but to me it wasn’t. I was very wrapped up in doing the fun crafts and activities but not living like Christ in their lives. I was choosing to plan fun things to do but was not disciplining them when they were disobeying and sinning. A good friend pointed out to me that my 5-year-old’s sin of not obeying is small right now, but when she is 15 it will mean sneaking out of the house, and when she is 25 it will mean being put in jail. Exaggerated, hopefully, but it could happen if we fail to teach her to fear and obey God! My job as her mother is to train her in obedience, train her heart to love God. This means not being short or angry with them, as I had been, and consistently doing what I said I would do regarding discipline.

The timing in which I was learning this was certainly God-ordained. I was not glorifying God with my mothering, and there was about to be one more child to mother! I am so thankful God showed me where I needed to improve and, moreover, trust Him and His will. Proverbs 23:19 “Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.”

In my next entry I will share some practical tips on how this has worked for my family, how it’s affected how we do school and some of the rewards we’ve seen.

What do you feel are some of the good priorities that you have in place as a mom and/or as a homeschooling mom? Is it a ever a challenge for you to love and lead through disciplining consistently? Are there any ways that you feel like you’ve gotten off track? Let’s pray for one another in this!

(Post by: Addie)


7 Responses to “Revisiting My Role As Mom And Teacher”

  1. 1 Kara May 1, 2010 at 9:15 am

    Thanks for your post, Addie! I agree 100% with you. I, too, have gone through seasons of being often exasperated and angry with my children. And the root was that I was constantly threatening, or using my anger and disapproval as a ‘punishment’. The solution wasn’t just to learn patience, but actually to address the children’s behavior. When we are consistent (punishing for every act and atitude of disobedience) our children quickly respond and are a delightful part of the family. And, I believe they are much happier.

  2. 2 Alicia May 1, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Thanks for the great reminder and putting into words what I think! I always try to remember the priority that you mentioned: Is my discipline pointing my child’s heart towards the Lord and showing them their need of Him?

    Recently when my 3 year old has been having trouble obeying or having the wrong responses, we will stop and pray (after discipline) and ask Jesus to help him obey. I want to be setting the pattern now that we can’t please the Lord on our own ability, it’s only through His strength that we can do anything. I tell him, “Jesus can help us do the right thing”. My little guy has responded very well to this and surprised me with how quickly his attitude changes after we pray together.

  3. 3 Shilo May 1, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Thanks for your honesty!
    God has been speaking to my heart about a few things this week with my boys. I need to return to faithfulness in a few areas.
    Blessings, and MANY CONGRATS on the new little one!

  4. 4 Ashley L May 1, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    I really enjoyed this post, Addie! My husband has been reading “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” recently, and though I read it awhile ago, it has been so great to have him reminding me about the principles. Your post is another great and similar reminder and fits right into some of the things that I’d been praying about as I’ve revisited my personal vision. We recently had a series of major bedtime battles (which are resolved with a temporary fix for now) and I definitely was dealing with anger and frustration as I tried to deal with the kids. We’ll have to go back to our regular bedtime set up soon (currently the kids are separated when they fall asleep rather than going to bed in the same room as usual), and when we do, I look forward to a fresh start with discipline coming from love rather than frustration, and hopefully a better outcome.

  5. 5 Amie May 1, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I love Shepherding a Child’s heart (just re-reading it today actually!)…I think it is harder the more children we are blessed with for me to remember to focus on the needs of my children as the individuals they are and not as a unit. It is simpler for me to establish parenting guideline (for them and me) and then stick to them, but each child is so different and need that one on one attention and focus that rarely fits exactly into these amazes me how when I spend time getting to know my children and spending time with them many of the challenges fade away.
    For me in homeschooling I’ve been challenged to step back more form a curriculum and focus instead on what they are passionate about, my four year old was asking about dump trucks so we wnet home and created a four week course on what happens to garbage, how long it takes to break down, recycling, garbage around the world…she loved it and it was much better then “my plan”…I think sometimes my anger or frustration is directed because I expect of my children to be more perfect then they are able instead of embracing them and joining them where they are at and then taking their hand to lead them beyond that point. Thank you for sharing!

  6. 6 Addie May 2, 2010 at 3:39 am

    Thank you for the responses and encouragement! I had to face that my heart didn’t want to take responsibility for my children, and I felt the urge to abandon homeschooling just so I could blame their bad behavior on those “bad” public schools. When really it was my heart becoming hard toward them and not wanting to invest in helping them see Jesus. God is so gracious to have shown me where I was wrong, in a loving, tender way and show me how to repent to my children and change.

  7. 7 Rachel May 2, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    Thank you!! I am a new mom with just 1 little 2 year old and and sometimes get discouraged day by day. This helps me keep focas.

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