From Shilo in Paraguay (currently on furlough): What advice would you give someone switching fields (ministry locations)? What do you wish you could tell your packing-for-the-field-for-the-first-time self now that you’ve been in your location for awhile?
(If you would like to pose a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to formissionarymoms@gmail.com . Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, and specify also if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)
I just did a post on my family’s blog to show our family and friends back “home” what our home looks like here in Russia. I thought that I’d invite you all over as well! I only wish it could be in person along with a cup of coffee and some good conversation!
Also, I’ve had dreams of figuring out that “Linky” application that I’ve seen a bunch and inviting you all to link your own home tour pictures from your blogs, but since I haven’t gotten to it, I thought I’d just invite you to leave the link to your post in the comments if you have one (or you could even make a post if you wanted!). I think it is so neat to see how people create homes in all sorts of places and circumstances all around the world!
Leave a link to pictures of your home in the comments if you’d like to give us a tour! (I will try to catch anything that gets marked as spam as soon as possible since that happens sometimes with links, so if your comment doesn’t show up right away, check back soon.)
(Post by: Ashley)
Friends, I hope many of you will read this and stop to spend some time in prayer for the family and loved ones of one of our dear missionary mom friends, Julie Kurrles. I just heard the tragic news from Shilo that her family was in a car accident in Paraguay today and that Julie and her son were killed. Her husband, Norberto, and their daughter survived but are in the hospital. Let’s all please gather together around the globe to lift up their family and the many others who are grieving right now…
From Tammy in Tanzania: I would like to hear from moms who have an empty nest. You know, I thought once my children grew up and left home my job as a Mom would, in many respects, cease. However, I find that they need me, and my prayers, just as much as ever – if not more. With my first grandchild on the way this summer I am feeling a real pull towards America. How do moms deal with this season in life? In what ways have they found to be the mother their children need while so far away?
(Some of my mom friends on the playground last spring)
Moving to this northern Russian city where the winter is so long and dark makes the coming of spring with it’s warmth quite thrilling. And it is not only the sun that brings this warmth, but the fact that the people who have lived all winter long closed in their cold communist cement block apartments begin emerging to stroll leisurely down the streets once more. Smiles and conversation begin blossoming in place of cold and brisk sidewalk passings.
Not only does the winter here starve us of sunlight, but it starves us of day-to-day community in many ways. As the ground and interactions warm, I am excited about the relational possibilities that spring will bring with it.
Once spring arrives, we resume our daily walks to the playground along with the many moms and little kids who live in our giant apartment complex. I see women and their children who have been living just yards up, down, or sideways from us, for the first time in months. New babies have been born, children have grown and moms have grown eager to relate to one another once again.
As I look forward to long mornings outside with my kids at the playground, I am also looking forward to the opportunity for relationship that is coming. Part of this eagerness is for my own desires for community and friendship, but another part is the great opportunity that this brings as I look to reach out to the women around me with the gospel and love of Christ. No matter where you go in the world, moms with little ones are eager to relate about the joys and challenges of motherhood. I have yet to meet a mom who feels like she has it all figured out. What a natural and great opportunity to share about the guidance, love, and wisdom that God provides to those who look to Him. Mothering little ones takes every single one of us to the end of ourselves. The question is when we reach that end, where do we look next? This stage of life, no matter where we are in the world, is such a unique time for ministry!
A good friend and leader here in our ministry recently was sharing with me how as her kids have gotten older it has become a bit harder to forge friendships and relationships with other moms in the community. People grow busier, kids start going out to play on their own while moms stay at home, and perhaps women even become a bit more set in their parenting ways and look less often for guidance. Hearing her share some such things made me all the more eager to take hold of this time with little ones and to pray that God will both allow me to make use of this time when it is natural to interact with so many moms on a daily basis, but also to pray that He will begin friendships and opportunities for influence that will last into those years when we no longer meet each morning around the sandbox.
Perhaps the contrast of literal seasons is a bit more profound where I am than where you are, but I am thrilled about this new time of friendship and ministry opportunity and wanted to encourage you moms of little ones as well to purposefully take hold of this unique season of life for the glory of God. Many times it can feel like this is such a difficult time to do any sort of “real” ministry, but I think in many ways we can structure our lives with our children in ways that will give us perhaps a greater influence than many other seasons. Young moms, let’s pray and be intentional with this season that we are blessed to find ourselves in!
Where do the moms in your community gather with their little ones? Are there any daily life routines in your host culture (or home culture if you’re in the US) that you might be able to take part in for the sake of growing relationships with the women in your community? Do you have any exciting or encouraging stories on this topic that you’d have a moment to share with us?
(Post by: Ashley)
From Kara in Russia: What do you think it takes to thrive long-term overseas?
Happy Easter, dear friends around the globe who are celebrating Easter this weekend! In Russia we celebrate according to the Orthodox calendar, meaning that we will be celebrating next week, so I feel bad for not getting an actual Easter post up for you! I assume that you have far greater things to be doing than spending much time reading blogs anyway, so I’ll just say Happy Easter! Christ is Risen!
Up from the grave he arose; with a mighty triumph o’er his foes; he arose a victor from the dark domain, and he lives forever, with his saints to reign. He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose!
My mother-in-law died last year, just before Christmas. This year, we’ve walked through the one year anniversary of her promotion to glory. In some ways, it feels surreal. After all, it wasn’t our first time to celebrate the Savior’s birth without her presence. As missionaries serving far from our families, that is actually the norm. But we couldn’t call… or video Skype… and just knowing that Dad was facing a second Christmas without her? …it made my heart ache. It also reminds me of a heart-aching lesson the Lord taught me in that season, a lesson about the cost of gifting sacrificial love.
When we returned to our place of service in July, 2010, we knew my husband’s mother’s health was fragile; we never dreamed she’d see her Savior face to face before that Christmas. Thankfully, Tim was able to make a whirlwind trip back to the States for that Thanksgiving, spending it with his parents, and having the opportunity to say a final earthly goodbye to his mama. I know that time, while heartbreaking for the rest of us who couldn’t go and be with Mom/Grandma, was a treasured and precious time for both my husband and his parents.
While he was gone, I started scheming. Our 16th wedding anniversary was coming up shortly after his return… We hadn’t gone away together, just the two of us, for over 8 years… A friend volunteered to take our kids for the weekend, to let us get away to a lovely-for-West-Africa little resort literally just minutes away from our house for the weekend… Offers like that don’t grow on trees! What’s more? We actually had a bit of surplus in the budget and could afford to retreat, together…
As I said, I started scheming… dreaming… anticipating time… just the two of us… after some very long, difficult and stressful weeks apart. I was excited; friends were excited for me – for us. Raising eight children – the youngest of which was just winding up nursing – busy lives, and a limited budget? That meant that those sorts of opportunities truly were few and far between. Then factor in the reality that even thinking about all the prep work required to leave this family often discourages any desire to do so. But this time? I was more than ready. One night, while chatting on-line, I quietly typed these dreamy ideas to Tim as our littlest one slept on my lap, sweet little hands cupping my face. He seemed as excited about this little get-away as I was… and I couldn’t wait for him to be home.
Literally, just days after he left the States and returned to Niger, his mother’s situation turned critical. It was not long before the decision was made to remove one of the gentlest, sweetest women I’ve ever known from life support. Tim was devastated… we all were… There’d been unexpected moments of hope- talk of transplants and even some plans for the future. So, while not unexpected, reality still seized us by surprise, accosting our already aching hearts. We couldn’t afford another trip home that quickly for him to attend her funeral. As Tim grieved, he started talking about wanting to just get away from the city, away from all of the people asking him how he was doing and the well-meaning but sorrowful, sympathetic looks directed his way. He wanted to take our older children to a wild game park/reserve and just camp out for 2 or 3 days, accomplishing in his mind two things: 1) escape and time alone with his big kids who are much better than his wife at living in, enjoying… the present moment and 2) scoping the place out and seeing if it might be a place we could vacation as a family.
If he took this camping trip, however, our just-the-two-of-us-get-away simply wouldn’t… couldn’t… happen. He decided – and it wasn’t the decision I wanted.
I was hurt. Hurt soon turned to anger.
I sullenly nursed anger and wounded pride (After all, what would I say to all those friends with husbands who would never choose something over a weekend away with their gal?) until a still small voice gently confronted me, stopping me in my internal foot-stomping tracks and prolific self-pity party. The Holy Spirit pointed out that my hurt-turned-angry feelings sprang from jealousy more than anything else. I had wanted to be the one Tim turned to in his grief. I wanted him to need me above all else, to choose me as the one upon whom he’d lean. In reality, he was telling me he needed time alone and away with THE Comforter. That truth should have delighted my heart… but it didn’t.
So what do we wives do when the Lord shows us that we’ve tried to set ourselves up as our husband’s idol, expecting our man to have needs met by us when he should be running first to God? In the Old Testament, the Israelites are commanded to tear down and destroy high places tempting idol worship. (Deuteronomy 12:1-5 is an example.) The word translated tear down is, in other places, also translated “utterly destroy,” “obliterate,” “make perish completely…” I see no other choice than to choose to die to self and free my husband from this subtly insidious expectation that he worship, adore and run to me first and foremost. To love well, I must obliterate that idolatrous construction of my expectations for what our marriage and our friendship… our relationship… will look like.
It is one thing to recognize that you have “high places” – areas that tempt you to worship someone or something other than God. It is another to realize, as you examine your life, that the Holy Spirit is gently pointing out high places I have constructed for my husband… my children… my friends, etc.?
Might He be showing you one or two?
If so, how do we go about tearing down those places?
(Post by: Richelle)
Cindy in California: I currently serve on the Missions Board at my church in California. We are trying to raise the bar with “Missionary Care” for the missionaries we support. I would love to know what has been an encouragement to the women who participate with Missionary Mom’s in terms of what a church (or individual) has done in the realm of missionary care. I know there are “Care Packages” and birthday cards but what else? I know we want to care for missionaries while they are on the field, but what should we consider doing when someone is coming for home assignment or even leaving the field permanently. I’d like to know things that might be directed toward the entire family, as well as the “mom”, the “dad” and the “children”.
(If you would like to pose a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to formissionarymoms@gmail.com . Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, and specify also if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)
As we finish this short series on oasis, I wanted to allow our caring God to speak to us here through His own word about the refuge that can always be found in Him. Below are a number of passages side by side without verse numbers and usual line breaks. Read all of these verses together slowly and allow the magnitude of the refuge that He offers sink into your hearts and souls.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
But let all who take refuge in you [God] rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer;from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline your ear to me, and save me! But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works. Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.
Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Passages in order: Psalm 28:7, 46:1, 5:11-12, 61:1-3, 63:1 & 5-8,71:1-2, 73:28, 84:5-7, Matthew 11:28-30)
We can do so many good things to seek oasis in our lives, but we will seek in vain without first and foremost running to Him, the one who himself is called our refuge. Let us not minimize the importance of His perfect and magnificent refuge as we seek oasis!
I wanted to end this post with a few practical ideas for carving out time for oasis. It would be wonderful to hear your ideas in the comments as well:
1. Acknowledge your need and plan your schedule accordingly. If we are feeling physically unwell, we often don’t think twice about declining commitments and opportunities that we don’t feel up to. If you are feeling spiritually drained, take that seriously and perhaps say no to some things in order to make extra time for rest in the presence of God.
2. Take an internet vacation. Put an away message on your email, vow not to sign-in to Facebook, don’t worry about following your favorite blogs or updating your own blog for awhile… With the world becoming more and more internet focused, I know that most of us spend a decent enough amount of time online over the course of a week, and largely on things that probably aren’t critical. If you are feeling a great need for oasis in Christ, perhaps give up you internet time for a bit (or decrease it) and give that extra time to prayer, worship, and time in the word.
3. Get up a little earlier than usual for extra time with God each morning, acknowledging your need for the Lord’s strength, comfort, guidance…. Depending on when you usually spend your focused time with God, maybe you don’t want to get up earlier, but might want to schedule in extra time before bed, or in the middle of the day, etc.
4. Put reminders to pray up around your house. Seeking to pray continually is a great way to seek oasis even when calm solitude may not be possible.
5. Pray through the Psalms. The psalms are prayers themselves and are such an incredible prayer guide for us as they span the vast experience of human life. By praying through the entire book, you will be led from time to time to pray about needs that you may not have even yet acknowledged exist. On this topic, if you haven’t read it already, I highly recommend Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible to help guide you in praying through the Psalms.
What does it mean to you to seek refuge in God?
(Post by: Ashley)
