A few weeks ago our family was driving somewhere in the car when my two older kids ended up in a terrible mood, complaining about everything. “It’s too hot.” “I don’t like driving in the car.” “Why can’t we go to McDonalds?” “We don’t get to have any fun.” “Why can’t we have any treats?”…. and so on. It started with my daughter and then my son caught on and pretty soon nobody was having any fun at all.

Thankfully God brought to mind his command to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:18),  so we interrupted the escalating complaint fest and asked my daughter to start sharing all of the things that she could think of that she was thankful for. It took a few moments to convince her that this was in fact a good idea, but finally she went along with it. Pretty soon she was listing everything that she could think of, from people, to toys, to animals, to favorite colors, etc, and sure enough her little brother quickly caught on as well, and very soon the mood switched from gloom and misery to joy and gratitude.

I was thinking the other day about how this same idea so easily works out with regards to our attitude toward our calling and particularly toward the cultures in which we serve, and even the challenges that we face in our daily lives and ministries. It can be so easy to get into a rut of complaining about all of the little things that frustrate and exhaust us, whether we do it verbally or internally. The worst is when we do it verbally around those serving with us. We can so easily bring one another down if we aren’t careful! I have definitely experienced what I initially thought to be harmless venting, only to find myself more frustrated in the end rather than feeling any sense of relief and likely having put someone else in a foul mood as well.

But, just like what happened during our little car ride with the kids, we can easily shift our focus and even the focus of those around us by consciously giving thanks for the blessings that we get to experience in the callings that God has given us! I of course don’t suggest ignoring true struggles or pretending  like everything is wonderful when it isn’t, but I know for myself that sometimes my dissatisfactions in life come not from true hardship, but rather from a lack of gratitude and a self-pitying focus. I know that this idea is not new to any of us, but it can be easy to not put these things into practice and to get carried away into discontent!

What are you thankful for today? Is there anyone around you that you could encourage with an attitude of thankfulness? May you find joy today as you give thanks in all circumstances!

(Post by: Ashley)

Like I mentioned in the last post, the past month for me has been one of much change and adjustment as we welcomed our 3rd child into the world. It has been a time of true joy getting to know this sweet little girl, and has also been a time of re-evaluating my priorities. As all of you moms know, it isn’t as if we have loads of time standing free in our lives before the addition of a new child (or the addition of any new responsibility, really) that is just waiting to be filled! Life is 100% full to begin with, so things have to shift around and priorities have to be re-addressed to find a healthy balance again.

For the first couple of weeks I think my subconscious aim was to “try to stay on top of things.” The challenge each day was to keep up with the tasks that I was used to doing before our daughter’s arrival, as well as to fit in nursing and caring for a tiny newborn as well. It didn’t take more than a couple of days to realize that this task would be nearly impossible and that my energy supply would likely not last more than a few weeks, if even that long.

During my times in the word lately,  the overwhelming and gracious message that God has been speaking to me has been to examine what it means to be successful each day. Do I rate my success on how in order my house is or how many tasks on my to-do list I make it through? Do I rate it on how well I am doing at getting my baby on a schedule while still giving my older kids loads of meaningful experiences each day? Do I rate it on my ability to do all that I need to at home while still making time for “ministry?” I am sure you could add your own standards to this list. God has been lovingly showing how in many of these types of goals, there is a great potential to come to see myself as a failure.

As I’ve been going through the book of Ephesians recently, a number of passages have stood out that talk about the manner in which we live rather than the specific tasks that we are to successfully complete.  Ephesians 1: 3-4 talks about walking in a manner worthy of the calling that we’ve received and instructs us to walk with humility, gentleness, patience, love, and peace. Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us to put off our old self and to put on our new self that is created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:29 talks about making sure our speech is good for building other us and that it gives grace to those who hear. Verse 4:32 talks about being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. Verses 5:1-2 commands us to be imitators of God and to walk in love. Ephesians 6:10-11 calls us to arm ourselves in order to be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

As I’ve meditated on these verses and some others, God has been showing me that even in this busy phase of life with many tasks that will be left undone, I have been given a standard of success that is achievable, by the grace of God. Ephesians 1: 3-4 tells us that “we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places… that we should be holy and blameless before him.” We may not be able to do everything that we would love to be able to do in a day, and we might feel like we are far from accomplishing every worthwhile task, but we have been given the means to do what we do each day in a way that is holy and blameless before God! That to me has become a much greater measure of success. And the best part of this measure is that where we fall short, Christ makes up for it on the cross.

As we daily yield ourselves to the Spirit of God, perhaps we won’t look like the Super Mom that we’d like to be, but in the things that we do accomplish, as simple or mundane the tasks may be, we have the ability in Christ to do them righteously, with holiness, blamelessly, in love, with tenderheartedness, with kindness, with grace, humbly, with forgiveness, with patience, while building others up, and in peace, etc. Walking in such a manner is a great success.

And to anyone who is curious, by writing this post, I am not in any way claiming to be one who has come close to having mastered these things. I bet most of  you are much farther along than I am in learning such lessons! I have just been so grateful to God for the encouragement that He has been giving me through His word and for the direction in which He is pointing me that I felt compelled to share what He has spoken to me in hopes that it might bless some of you as well.

Do you find it easy to define your success by what you do rather than how you do it? What things make you feel successful in your day to day life?

(Post by: Ashley)

It has been about a month since our new little daughter arrived and though I’ve missed posting and hearing from you each week, it has been such a wonderful time for our family! Little Elsie has been such a sweet, easy, and enjoyable baby. Just this morning I opened my eyes to see her sweet little face a few inches from mine smiling a huge smile at me! We’ve had so many special moments like this that I just want to take in and treasure forever!

That said though, I am still very much learning how to juggle everything in a healthy and balanced way! Some days I succeed alright at a nice balance and still getting most things done while focusing on the things that matter, and other days it comes to bedtime and from the looks of things around our home, you’d think I’d eaten bon-bons all day and done nothing! God lovingly gives us grace as we learn,  so I’m trying to have grace with myself as well. My goal has been not to sacrifice these special and fleeting moments as a family with a newborn in exchange for “having it all together,” as much as I’d love to be able to do it all.

I just thought I’d stop by here to let you know that slowly but surely things will be up and running here again! Free time for me is harder to come by during this phase, but I enjoy so much getting to connect with you all here. It is a blessing and joy and something that I want to give time to as a schedule forms more and more and as moments open up. I can’t promise yet that posts will happen as frequently as before, but hopefully soon enough things will be more consistent!

I hope you have had a very blessed month!

~Ashley

(Post by: Ashley)

I have been hoping to get a post up here to let you know that Missionary Moms will be taking a break for the next month or so as I try to get myself and my family healthy again and as we are expecting our 3rd child next week! If I could add a quick personal prayer request in here, I’d treasure your prayers that I’d get over this illness before labor. I am sicker than I remember ever being and can’t imagine giving birth like this!

I may put up a post or two in the next month to say hello and to introduce our new baby, but other than that, there won’t be anything new until mid or late August.

If you have any prayer needs that you would like the women here to be in prayer for, please leave that request in the comments so we can all be praying for you!

Farewell until August! I’ll be praying that God richly blesses you in the coming month!

(Post by: Ashley)

I think the reason that it is not comforting for those who have experienced loss to hear things such as, “he/she is in a better place,” “you couldn’t handle x that is why it was taken from you,”  “or at least you have your ???,”  is that those things in no way explains away the pain. None of the “benefits” of the tragedy actually justify the tragedy, so those who are left in the wake of loss find themselves asking “Why?” over, and over, and over again.

My husband, Jon,  sat me down one night to tell me what God had spoken to him through Romans 8:28. We have found that as we work through our grief and disappointment over the death of Marylou, we struggle with understanding the love that God has for us. It is too easy to view him as someone distant or cold. We get lost in asking “Why?” and when we cannot find answers that justify the loss, we have trouble viewing God as loving.

Jon was helping with elder interviews at church and one of the candidates shared this verse. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, show have been called according to his purpose…” (Romans 8:28). We sat on the couch together and cried as we let the truth of this verse and then entire passage sink into our understanding. Jon articulately said, “It is not that in anyway losing Marylou feels good, but I know that God works for the good of us, those who love him.”

The powerful thing about this passage is that Paul does not just leave us with this hard to grasp concept that God works for the good of us in all good and bad. He also predicts the questions that will fire in our head when confronted with tragedy or loss the natural and good response of  “but how can this possibly be good?” He responds to this unspoken question by explaining the incredibly deep love of Christ, that he gave His Son for us. Thinking about this for a moment leaves me a bit dumbstruck. See, I don’t need to know why life’s losses and tragedies are in anyway good for us because I know that God deeply loves us and this love overflows into His goodness. I don’t need to know the why because I know the Who that controls they whys of life.

We don’t understand how losing Marylou could in anyway be good, but we know that God works for the good of those who loves him, in all things; We know the character of God. This truth is hard to grasp, beyond an intellectual understanding when faced with loss, but it does not take away from its truth.

I don’t know why God took our Marylou home to be with him, or why people have to experience loss in anyway, illness, hospital stays, separation from kids, job losses, infertility, I don’t know the whys but I know the Who. And that is exactly what we need to know. If we allow the character of God to help us be ok with unanswered whys we can navigate tragedy without becoming confused by the goodness of God because that Who is the answer, not the problem.

I wanted to leave you with this verse in context, as Paul (who experienced more then his fair share of loss) explains beautifully how this hope and goodness is possible and how its truth transcends our circumstances through the Who of Christ.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:28-39

(Post by: Amie)

From Liz: We are in the support raising stage, and I am wondering what you did to get your families ready for your new host country?  We have little ones (3 and 20 months) so any suggests for the little people in the family would be great! (*Please feel free to also offer advice for those moving with older kids, as I know of a few of you who will soon be moving with older children who might be looking for helpful tips!)

(* added by Ashley)

(If you would like to pose a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to formissionarymoms@gmail.com . Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, and specify also if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

From Nancy in Niger:

The house from the outside in 2006. We first started fixing it up in 1992.  It had louvered metal windows….no glass, no screen, no air flow.  The floor from the front of the house to the back had a six inch difference (put down a marble in the front and it would roll all the way to the back of the house!)  We ended up with a “split-level”…. kitchen and living room/dining room on one level, then a step down and the two bedrooms and bathroom on another level. The “bathroom” was a drain hole in the wall.  That’s it.  We had to knock the wall out and move it back a few inches and put in plumbing.  Even then you could barely turn around in the bathroom!

There was no kitchen, just a store room.  We knocked a doorway into the storeroom from the living room and put in a kitchen. The first picture is making a kitchen door, and the second picture is of the kitchen in 2006. This is in a village in Niger where we work with SIM.  We lived in this house for 16 years.  We raised our kids in 1,000 sq feet of space and were really sad to move from there in 2008.

From Corinne in Hungary:

Our home in Budapest is in a large multi-family apartment building so we don’t have a yard and “camp-outs” often take place under the “stars” of our ceiling lamp.

From Holly in Cameroon:

Not really a room but my favorite place is our garden. The Lord has really blessed us with a large yard and we just love it, we spend as my time out here as we can. In our old house we only had a little concrete slab as our yard, not much fun for our 3 boys. But since moving we have almost an acre, such a blessing! There are always neighborhood kids over and great for get togethers.

From Liz in Michigan, headed to Honduras:

Right now, we live in camp housing at Camp Barakel in northern Michigan where we serve as missionaries.  One of the things I love about our house is my kitchen.  I really am going to miss it when we move.  I have a space set up with all of my baking supplies right on hand, all my flours, sugars, chocolate, cook books, and band aids within reach.  On the lazy susan below, I have all my measuring cups and spoons, and anything sharp or that could be used to grate things like my finger. I tell people it’s to keep them out of the reach of my toddlers, but really I probably shouldn’t be allowed in there either.  I have two fantastic windows where I can look out the window and watch the deer come to eat my hostas for their dessert.  It’s a sweet place for me, where I can use some of my creative energy while providing a very real service to my family.

From Sarah in Costa Rica:

Our first apartment, in San Jose, Costa Rica, where we went to language school and where we went through all the lessons of culture shock and adjustment.

Our bedroom is my favorite room in our new home in the small town of Atenas.  I love looking out the window at the mountains and volcanoes as I have my devotion times.

And finally, the winner! Chosen at random via random.org is Jessica in Eastern Europe! Check out the pictures of her lovely yard and adorable kids in the first post! Congratulations, Jessica! I’ll be emailing you to see if you’d like your gift certificate from itunes, Snapfish, or Amazon!

From Andrea in Mozambique:

“Home Sweet Home”-Our house we are renting in Chimoio, Mozambique

“Wow, that’s bright and ugly.” – What our house looked like when we first moved in. It has been painted and we have different furniture now.

From Phyllis in Ukraine:

The back side of our apartment building

My dream kitchen, the best room in our new home!

From Shilo in Paraguay:

Here’s my favorite spot in our new home!

From Addie in Mukilteo, WA:

“Before”

“After”

This is our current home in Mukilteo WA. We did a lot of remodeling in the first 6 months in order to make our living space more conducive to hosting and entertaining. We have been blessed with a home beyond adequate for our needs, especially since when we moved in we only had an 18 month old daughter. Since moving here we have had two more children, hosted a Japanese exchange student, housed my brother-in-law during a rough time in his life, and hosted various community groups. What began as an investment property we would move out of in a few years has become the home we will probably be in for the foreseeable future (thank you housing market downturn). We are blessed to call this place home and to make it our primary place for ministry!

From Jessica in Eastern Europe:

When we found out we had to move from our flat in Eastern Europe, we were so disappointed.  But then we found this gem and moved on Jan 1st.  We have a single family home (an absolute rarity in this city of monster former communist apartment buildings or multi-family homes) with our own yard!  The kids are having so much playing outside more often, we’re able to have more guests over, and I’m enjoying trying to love my yard into being pretty.

Feel free to ask questions and leave encouraging comments for the ladies who have shared their photos today!

A perfect question right before the “Home Sweet Home” photo challenge!

From Phyllis: What makes a place feel like home to you? (I take great comfort in the fact that heaven is my real home, but here I’m asking about “home” on earth.)

(If you would like to pose a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to formissionarymoms@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, and specify also if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)