Thank you thank you thank you so much for your reply! It is not overload at all! It was so helpful. As of right now, I have taken our little one out of the nursery at church and am taking him in to the service with me. If I have to step out with him, it’s better than having to go to the nursery and hear him screaming. I have stepped down from leadership/serving at church indefinitely, however, I do have my own ministry that is still a priority.

My husband is very helpful in this transition and I truly thank God for him.
God bless you Ashley and thanks again!

I wanted to encourage you that ministry at this phase with babies (and in every phase actually!) looks so different from person to person, and I agree that it can be such a challenge to figure out! =) It sounds like you have a wonderful heart to be serving, even in this new and demanding time as a new mom, but I want to encourage you also to accept God’s grace during this time. It is a huge transition, whether or not it feels like it! We need to give ourselves grace as we adjust to this new season of life and ministry. It is a time of readjusting priorities and learning, and shifting pretty much everything in life to a new norm. And this is a good thing! If you succeed in doing anything other than taking care of your little one and adjusting to life with a baby, I consider that above and beyond! It is God’s design that our babies take most of our time and energy, and loving our little ones is a wonderful and vital ministry.

Of course we should always have our eyes open to the opportunities that God brings to us to serve, and should keep in mind that He will most certainly bring us opportunities to serve others outside our family during our mothering years, but I think we also need to remember that He is a loving and gracious father, and he is not going to burden us with service to Him. There will be seasons where we do a lot outside of our family, and maybe seasons where there it looks like we aren’t doing anything beyond the walls of our home, and that is ok. Only God can reveal this to you for sure about your specific situation, but I think either He will give you peace about leaving your son in the nursery, or He will give you peace about taking a break from serving.

On a slight side note, it is so unique to our American culture that moms are often expected to be doing so many other things so soon after becoming a mother. Most other cultures take this transition much more slowly and with so much more outside help. Here in Russia it is very common for the mother to come and live with her daughter for quite some time after she gives birth to help her during this transition to being a mother. In fact, at our church, moms are with their kids for the whole service until up to 3 years! It is also very acceptable to decline any sort of task for months and even years just because you have a baby/child and are tired. Everyone understands that having a baby is hard and tiresome work! It makes me sad that we as American women feel so much pressure to be doing so much. (Sorry if this is a tangent! I have no idea if you feel any internal or external pressure to be serving or not, but it just came to mind since I really really struggled with this at first, and still do!)

Also, I think it is good to remember that every baby is so different. I have seen many moms with babies who are quiet and easy going, who sleep great and hardly cause a ripple when they enter the world. They often will take on an opportunity to serve here or there because really it is relatively easy or at least reasonably doable for them. Only on the 3rd try did I get a baby like that! =) Then there are babies like my second child who come into the world screaming at the top of their lungs and don’t stop for 6 months straight. I literally did nothing other than try to survive during those first 6-8 months (I can’t think of a single “ministry” thing that I did during that time), and even that was practically more than I could handle. It sounds like your little guy might just need to be close to you during the church service, and if you decide that this is what he needs, you should not feel bad about that at all. You are glorifying the Lord as you love your son and meet his needs. Our priorities are the Lord, our husband, our children, and then other opportunities for service. Perhaps this is a short season where you will not be able to do your current service at church because your son needs to have you close. I can pretty much guarantee you that this season will be very short, relatively speaking (most little ones grow out of separation anxiety pretty fast… as in a few months), but by putting your son first (if after praying you feel like God is telling you that he really does need to be with you), you will be setting up a great habit of living out godly priorities. AND you will be living out a great example to others about dying to self and loving your son! (Again, I am not saying that God is definitely calling you to stop serving at church, but just saying that IF he is, even stopping serving for a time could be a great example….)

Lastly (sorry for being so wordy! I get really passionate when it comes to balancing motherhood and ministry!), I want to also encourage you to always be praying that God will give you His motives for service. That is a constant battle I think for most if not all believers who desire to serve the Lord. So quickly can our service out of joy and love for the Lord become service out of a desire to do works or a desire to do what we think a good Christian “should” do. As women we also all probably struggle to a degree with comparison, whether it be to real women around us or our own idea of the “ideal christian mother.” I personally think we all need to be constantly seeking the Lord about this and to ask Him to give us his motives for serving others and to reveal to us His personalized calling for our own lives. Of course He will bring opportunities for us to serve and to be salt and light, but not every good thing will be something that He is specifically calling us to.

I know this is probably way more than you were expecting in response, and perhaps some of it is not relevant, but I pray that some of it might be an encouragement and speak to whatever the specifics of your situation are! I will be praying for you, Renee!